Pushing through mental barriers, one day at a time.

Today was a big old test of just how serious I am about getting my stuff together. I woke up feeling a bit tight and sore, which is to be expected as I am finally moving my body. Off to work I went but there I spent the better part of the day feeling lightheaded and just not well. So what familiar tricks did my mind immediately resort to? Don't do any work, don't write that all important letter on which so many important decisions are resting, go home for lunch, knowing fully well that I would most certainly end up staying in bed if I did that, and the kicker was of course, don't work out! Why should you anyway, as big as you are? All kinds of defeating thoughts that went through my mind but which I am glad to report I prevailed against. I stuck to my guns, asked for help so someone would at least know I was on the brink...and I got the letter done, and I got the workout done! YAY me. I set out to complete my 30 mins treck but ended up walking for 55 whole minutes! an accidental workout, but a victory in and of itself. I reached the point where I was to stop but my pick up wasn't there so I had a choice between hailing a cab and getting home or going for the healthier option of continuing to walk, which I very proudly did despite the stares at my gigantic butt and uncomfortable reactions. They got cause to stare cause I must be carrying about 70 darn extra pounds in my butt and hips alone, I kid you not! Still they could have ignored me and let me be since I am at least doing something about it. sigh. Anywho, I took notice but refused to let it get to me so I kept marching on. People will simply have to get used to my gigantic butt because I am not stopping now, I am not hiding and I am not denying myself this precious 'reconnecting with myself time either'. So there! Chipping away at mental barriers, one day at a time, and loving it too!
K.