Couple of truths and my pledge.

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. Bob Noawad

With that as an inspiration, I am laying out my truth right here: Truth is:

1. I lost my mother. It stunned and devastated me and sent me in a tailspin. She is gone, I’ve accepted it, but it doesn’t give me license to check out of my life and neglect it any longer. I can’t go on using that event to stay stuck and regress.

2. I’ve been in mourning and focused on my mum’s estate for the past 16 months. I’ve figured nowhere on the priority list and have neglected all areas of my life. So I’ve got a lot of piecing back to do.

3. Most urgently, I need to give attention to my weight. I am 32, and I weigh 300 lbs for a height of 5’8. So I am morbidly obese (taking a breath on that!) At this rate, I am just asking for all kinds of misery.

4. My main issue is that I am a MAJOR emotional eater. I am not however a food addict.

5. I tackled this issue back in 2006 and was quite successful at it, so I know it can be done. I know exactly what it takes. It took 16 months to gain it all back +. Never thought that possible. Goes to show nothing is ever granted in life. Especially not weight loss, it really takes a lifetime commitment.

6. I am sick of having reverted to the fat girl mentality where I don’t socialize, am overly nice or indulgent to make up for my looks, I look for the lazy way out in all that I do to avoid the pain of exerting my body, I have no good looking clothes to wear.

7. I do not like my image at all and I am a tad embarrassed to look this way.

8. I want to honor the gifts of a perfect body and good health that have been given me by doing everything in my power to honor my temple.

9. I want to live free of any limitations brought on by extra weight. I want to know true joy. I want to feel confident and powerful. I want to be me and to be free to do what ever I set my mind on.

"The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don't define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them."

My pledge:

1. I have decided to come out of my dark whole and lose 125 lbs. There I’ve said it! That is my goal. Realistically, this should take me some 18 months to accomplish.

2. To get there, I commit to:
3. Daily, challenging, exercise. For now I have to stay patient and work slowly because I am very out of shape. I will slowly inch towards an hour-long workout everyday. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I will get the workout done. That is a non negotiable.

4. I will eat a balanced and healthy diet. Cutting out all processed, fattening, sugar coated food for now. I'm making lifestyle changes by eliminating soda and eating healthier smaller portions. I will eat to sustain my body but not to numb it or mask emotions. I will stop eating when I am full and I will only eat when hungry.

5. I will drink up to 100 oz of water everyday. Slowly working my way up to this point.
6. I'm going to learn to become my friend again. I will cheer lead myself and remain positive. I won't beat myself up for failures but will celebrate my victories. I will remember that change doesn't happen overnight and that I am working on nothing short of a metamorphosis, which requires focus, commitment, consistency, patience, strength and faith in me, in my life and in my God.

7. I'm going to bathe this effort in prayer. Beware the temptation of self-initiated plans is a quote I strongly believe in. So I surrender to God and ask him to equip and help me accomplish this task.

8. I venture into this journey with a hopeful heart, willing feet and prayer to God.