2 posts in one day! I must be inspired!
I am actually faced with a dilemma that sadly reflects my current reality. A friend of mine introduced me to this great looking, friendly guy about 2 months ago. We've been e-mailing and talking to each other and he sounds like a nice, cool guy. He's been calling repeatedly for 3 days cause he wants us to physically meet...logical next step, after all we currently live in the same city, 15 mins away from each other and I am 32, very single, very much looking forward to meeting a nice guy, and this guy sounds like a good one. So why do I make him call for 3 days without actually meeting him? Well for the same reason I did this with another guy, another very promising bachelor, at the beginning of this year. Because, I feel like I do not stand a snow ball's chance in hell of these guys taking a look at me and still wanting to date me. I believe ! am just too morbidly obese at this point in time to even think these type of guys will want me, let alone dare to actually go meet them like there is a chance, pffff. What would be the point except to be faced with confirmation that I am unattractive and be rejected? It's not like these guys can fall for me with the way I look? It is not going to happen and it is a sad state of affairs, because I do want companionship and I know I am a great looking girl underneath these layers of fat and I have so much to offer... but I've convinced myself that no one can possibly want all 300 lb. of me right now and that very belief is stopping me from stepping out and giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. I've already defeated myself in my own mind and I can't bring myself to get past this barrier. I fully realize that I might be missing out on opportunities of a lifetime, and that I am letting opportunities and bits of my life slip by, but I just can't muster up the strength and courage to take such a bold chance. So now my question is, do I honor how I feel and truthfully tell him what I am grappling with? Do I open up and trust him with this intimate detail about my life or do I start ignoring his calls until he believes I've disappeared off the face of the earth?
K.
2 months ago
2 comments:
Wow K.
You most certainly have defeated yourself in your mind and for what? out of fear of rejection or long awaited happiness?
Nothing to fear but fear itself....Don't disappear off the face of the Earth!
2fab-2bfat
Don't start ignoring his calls!! He obviously enjoys talking to you and you have hit it off on some level?
Tell him and be honest. That's my vote!! You don't want to look back a few years from now and wonder "what if".
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